The Flower – Page 8

< Previous Page | Next Page >

I really enjoy world building.  There’s a balance to giving a flavor of the world without getting lost in the details so the story is the focus. Bill’s world is an odd mixture of old world and future, and things appear to be broken. So far the comments on the world itself have been favorable.

The Flower – Page 5

< Previous Page | Next Page >


EDIT: I put the window details in, which I think helps. Also changed the picture of the wife. 

There have been a couple comments that it’s not entirely clear what Bill’s picture is showing. It is someone with a flower. Who might it be? Where is she? It might be okay that it’s a little puzzling at this point. I’ve also left out the details outside the window so we can clearly see the robot as it floats into view. That could be a cause of confusion, I might need to put the scenery back in. It’s possible the window looks too different here.

The Flower – Page 3

< Previous Page | Next Page >


EDIT: Replaced the quota idea with the simple word “MORE” to indicate the drudgery of the task.

I do have some concern that the word “quota” and the concept of the amount complete might be lost on younger readers. Bill is realizing that he has a LONG way to go before his work is done, and the day is over. It might be better to show some sort of progress bar in the middle last panel.

Support me on Patreon


The Flower – Page 1

Next Page >

Welcome my visual story called “The Flower.”

If you’ve read my “Stories Matter” post on the front page, you know that I think stories make a difference in our lives. My goal is to provide this story free to sick children in the hospital (or wherever they may be) to provide a few moments of hope and good cheer.

I’ve decide to begin posting this online because I am at the point where I want to get some feedback and test the story with a wider audience. I also wanted to begin socializing the project, and keep myself a little bit more motivated to keep a production schedule.

Please feel free to leave any feedback you like, and to tell others about my little project. As always, you can support my work on my Patreon.

Thanks for reading.

(Hello Reddit mods! This is /u/tdellaringa!)